There is considerable advice available for a pet owner on how to cope with the loss of their beloved dog when the unthinkable and unavoidable time comes that their faithful companion must be put to sleep. But very little has been written about the emotional impact on the veterinarian who has to deliver the lethal injection in the procedure known as euthanasia.
I know from my own experience, that it is too easy to feel as if no one else could ever suffer as much pain and heartache as I have after putting my beloved dog to sleep. But no one is immune to feeling the sadness and heartache when the close bond between a pet dog and its owner is ended; even a veterinarian who has to deal with the death of pet animals every day or every week.
I recently ran into a friend of mine, a veterinarian, at my local Starbucks. Over a Grande cup of Pike Place Roast, I asked my friend why I was still grieving over the loss of my magnificent Golden Retriever whom I had to put to sleep more than 2 months ago. He sipped his coffee for several minutes, and when I was about to repeat my question because I thought he hadn’t heard me, he spoke in a soft whisper and said, “It’s truly unfortunate, but we doctors receive more thanks for killing someone’s pet than for helping it.”
I must have looked shocked because he said to me, “I don’t think most people who have to put their dog to sleep, are able at the time to consider that the doctor who has to give the lethal injection also has an emotional response every time he or she has to euthanize a longtime pet companion. I feel the same sadness every time I’m called upon to euthanize a much loved pet, an abandoned shelter dog, or a sick or injured dog whose owners can’t afford to pay for its necessary medical care.”
“Did you know that for many veterinarians, the anguish and distress in putting a pet animal to sleep is so overwhelming at times that many vets can no longer handle it.”
He went on to tell me that most people are unaware that veterinarians are at a significantly increased risk of suicide. In the U.S., England and Australia, statistics show that one in every five veterinarians who died took their own life.
“Euthanasia is based on the belief that it is more humane to relieve an animal of its incurable pain and suffering. But why do we, the veterinarians who have to take the dog’s life, often wonder if we are doing the right thing for the animal.”
“I once had a pet owner who wanted to be present when I injected her 10 year old Labrador Retriever whose lungs had finally given up on him and whose every breath became a unrelenting and demanding task. I inserted the intravenous catheter prior to the procedure in order to be sure I delivered a sufficient overdose of barbiturate directly into the dog’s bloodstream to avoid any unnecessary stress and discomfort for the dog. Its owner happened to notice the bottle containing the euthanasia solution sitting on the counter and nearly fainted. The drug was labeled “Fatal Plus”, which is an unfortunate name for a drug used in such an emotionally fraught situation as euthanasia. The owner asked me why the bottle was thus labeled, after all, ‘What was more fatal than death’.”
“The barbiturates used in euthanasia solutions work quickly, and the dog suffers no pain in the matter of seconds it takes to accomplish the task. I have seen many dogs give a deep and final sigh, while others may twitch, gasp a last breath, or lose control of their bladder or bowels.”
I mentioned how sad, lonely, and guilty I felt when my own beloved Golden began to lower his head and then in one final moment, left me; looking just like he always did when he was so tired he just couldn’t stay awake any longer. I said he didn’t close his beautiful brown eyes all the way and that surprised me.
My friend looked soulfully into my eyes and said, “Many people are surprised when their pet doesn’t close its eyes in death. The death of a dog who has been put to sleep is not like the movies where the animal gently closes its eyes and passes on. Most dogs who are euthanized leave our world with their eyes open.”
“Understand that I’m not trying to be melodramatic when I talk about the strong emotions we veterinarians experience when we have to put a dog to sleep. As for myself, every time is like the first time. Every dog and every owner is unique. I always have to ask myself if this is mercy killing, or am I ending the life of a much loved pet too early when perhaps the dog could have had a few more weeks or months to be with its owner.”
“This is the most difficult responsibility I have to face in my practice. I am sorry for your loss my friend. And I’m genuinely sorry for the loss of every dog I have had to put to sleep, and every one that I will have to do the same to, for the rest of my career.”
